Amazing world records

Honestly, I can’t make this up. There is a show here called Guinness Primetime – as in the Guinness Book of World Records. The host is American so it must be the brain child of some suit who has his pulse on what the people all over the globe really want to watch. The premise is showing people breaking records. Every time we find it, we end up asking ourselves, “why are we watching this?” In one fascinating episode, some professional biker (as in BMX not Harley Davidson) attempted to do the fastest front and back wheel-y. There were out in the desert somewhere and he followed an SUV to pick up a tail wind and twenty nail-biting minutes later he does a 3 second back wheely at 80 mph. Amazingly, he broke the record making his families and friends so proud because he can now say he has the Guinness World Record beating out (presumably) countless others who have dared such a stunt. You’d think I’d learn that in those 20 minutes I could have put in and folded a load of laundry. I could’ve read a chapter in my book. I could have better used that time shoving a pencil in my thigh. But no, I caught another 10 minutes today. This time, I can’t believe it, but I actually saw the fastest aerial pencil sharpening EVER. Some smart and talented helicopter pilot decided to spend an entire day trying to sharpen a pencil. He rigged a metal arm with a metal clasp at the end off of the landing bar of the helicopter. He then conned some schmuck to drive a limo with a tripod sticking out of the sunroof. On the top of the tripod, they secured an electric pencil sharpener. The pilot flew the helicopter just over the limo as he tried and tried (for 10 hours) to stick the pencil, clasped in the metal arm of the helicopter, into the pencil sharpener. I almost feel bad telling you about it because you really missed out. He finally did it, just as they were going to have to call it a day because the sun was going down. Now that's drama. It might come as a surprise, but that stunt had never before been attempted. Another proud owner of a new Guinness World Record - the fastest aerial pencil sharpening.

I can't believe they made multiple episodes of this show.