Q & A with Sir

At long last and at the request of many, we finally hear from Sir. For reasons that will soon become apparent, we thought the easiest way for him to "blog" would be through a Q&A. Note: Interviewers side notes will appear in italics.

Sir, it's 2:45 on Friday. To what do we owe the pleasure of your company?
Because my mother never exposed me as a young child to the Chicken Pox when I could take a week off of school and watch cartoons. No, I've come to India and along the way, randomly picked up the Chicken Pox.

Chicken Pox! That's terrible. How/when did you find out?
Last night as I was getting ready for bed and had not been feeling well, I noticed random spots on my chest and arms. When I awoke this morning and did some research, I had diagnosed myself with Dengue Fever and headed to my local health clinic. Luckily, it was determined that I did not have the deadly fever but, in fact, had contracted adult Chicken Pox.

A health clinic in Bangalore...how was that?
It was actually very nice and clean and up to Western standards besides the small crowd that had gathered to gawk when I took off my shirt to reveal a bunch of red blotches that had begun to appear on my skin. (I can imagine. I mean really, what 32 year old man gets chicken pox?)

Tell us about the pharmacy you then visited.
The pharmacy was a store front like where you might buy street food, cigarettes or chips. But I just walked up with my perscription, gathered my items and $5.50 and 3 medications later, I was on my way. After some quick research, I found that one medication, in addition to alleviating my symptoms, is also used to treat dementia. In hindsight, I probably should have asked how this cocktail of meds might interact with my malaria medication and the abundance of alcohol I plan to drink tonight to put me out of my misery. (He will not be drinking an abundance of alcohol. Talk about dementia...)

As it turns out, one of my co-workers offered to send a doctor to the apartment to write me a prescription. I jokingly asked if I could get him to write me a prescription for Oxycotin and my co-worker, in all seriousness, said yes. So there's a plus to coming to India - easily accessible narcotics.

Poor you, it's a good thing you have a lovely nurse-wife to help you through your time of trouble. Wouldn't you agree?
You mean Chandan?

Ha. See you are funny, even when you're sick. How did Chandan take the news?
Chandan has also never had the chicken pox but still, he is ready to serve. In fact, we went out earlier to get some provisions for my following few days at home and he said he called his mother and she told him that we need to get Neem leaves. You are supposed to lay the leaves out on the bed and sleep on them for 3-4 days. He's going to get us some now.

He is a better nurse than your wife. How did your co-work react to the news?
They felt bad. They probably thought my sissy-Western immune system can't handle all that India has to offer.

Didn't one of them want to put you on speaker-phone so the rest of the team could laugh at you?
Yeah, but I found out that was Jillian so it doesn't count. (Jillian is also from the US but has married an Indian and been living here for a few years now. She's is caught in some weird nationality-identity crisis.)

Speaking of your team, how are you liking your job?
The job is great. I'm obviously learning alot and I'm getting to see a whole new side to our business. One of the strangest things is that up until this point, I've always been one of the youngest people on teams that I've worked with and now they're all looking to me for guidance and feedback so that's been an adjustment.

How old are most of your co-workers?
Average ages is probably 26. (And they all have Master's degrees and about half have already had between 3 and 9 different jobs since graduating.)

In hearing about the interactions I have with the various Indian house-staff, can you compare to your interactions with your Indian co-workers?
I would say the Indian people in general are very process oriented. They are great when they have a plan and instructions. If you look at the various jobs over here, everything is process-oriented. I've found that you have to tell them exactly what to do. There isn't much original thought - almost like they have to be led to certain conclusions.

Do you think that's a product of their youth?
I don't know. Or maybe the education system but they grow up wanting to excel but it's like they can't (or don't) put it all together to see the "big picture." There's probably a reason you don't hear of many famous Indian philosophers.

As an aside, the Indian middle-class here doesn't seem view anything awkward about having a very clear distinction between classes. If you get to a certain level, they'll pay for drivers for Indian families too. It's not usual for upper-middle class families to have drivers and house staff. (It's not just because we're from the fancy IBM. And evidence of how ingrained the caste system is - even though it's not officially practiced.)

Speaking of "status," tell them the Sean Jean story.
Oh, so they are slowly but surely picking up some aspects of Western pop-culture. For example, VH1 is airing 3 year old reality shows and it is one of the favorite pass times of one of my co-workers.

What shows? Laguna Beach, Season 1, Newlyweds (with the now divorced Nick and Jessica although Sir's not sure if she knows this.)

But anyway, one of my co-workers had a friend going to American and because of the recent appreciation of the rupee against the dollar, he asked that she bring back some clothes for him. But not just any clothes, specifically a Sean Jean shirt. (For those Siddell's who don't know, that's Puff Daddy's fashion label. He is one of those hip-hop rappers.) He seemed very disappointed when he received the shirt but it did not have an extremely large Sean Jean logo on the front or back and he said, "no one's even going to know this is a Sean Jean shirt so why should I bother wearing it?" His solution was to take the tag that it was wrapped in and sew it on to the back of the shirt so everyone would know it was a Sean Jean shirt. He asked me to swear to secrecy that I wouldn't tell anyone. (So now we're asking you to swear to secrecy and we'll leave his name out so you're not tempted.)

Give us a little 'slice of life' at the office. Do you sit in cubes, offices, desks?
No one has offices, it's all cubes. It's perfectly acceptable to take speaker-phone calls at your desk so you can just yell into the phone while everyone else around you is trying to do work and no one says anything about it. It's also perfectly acceptable to take cell phone calls during meetings. So you could be sitting around a conference table, with a speaker giving a presentation and 3 or 4 phones might ring. It's more rude NOT to pick up a call then to pick up quickly and just say, "I'll call you back" and hang up on them. This is because no one has voice mail because you have to ask for voice mail as an added feature when you buy a cell phone.

Do you eat lunch at your desk?
In the States I ate lunch at my desk just about every day. But here, everyone goes to the cafeteria and they pipe in Indian music. There is a veg-line, a non-veg line and a stand that makes grilled vegetable sandwiches and milkshakes. All for the low, low price of 75 cents. You get a tray and it's basically all you can eat. (Meanwhile in the US, he was charged 5 cents in the US for a mug of hot water.)

When you are finished eating there is a unisex wash-room to wash your hands as you are only given spoons to eat. No knives or forks. (I think it's like a trough.)

So are you disappointed you can't attend the wedding this weekend?
A little because I knew my wife was looking forward to it but the good news is we have 2-3 more weddings of my co-workers to attend after the new year. (I am very disappointed but the promise of more weddings and poor Sir, he does look miserable.)

You're looking tired, any last thoughts?
Once they get a better beer selection in India, it'll be a better place for Westerners.


Hope you enjoyed your time with sir. We're waiting on the Neem leaves and hoping they do the trick. According to the trusty Wikipedia, in addition to helping with Chicken Pox, the Neem tree "is variously known as 'Divine Tree', 'Heal All', 'Nature's Drugstore', 'Village Pharmacy' and 'Panacea for all diseases'. Products made from neem have proven medicinal properties, being antihelmintic, antifungal, antidiabetic, antibacterial, antiviral and anti-infertility."

And I have had the pox but I must say, I also had the sore throat, stiff neck, chills and headache...you can't get them twice, right?

Anyway, I'll keep you posted on the patient's progress. Signing off from St. John's Wood medical ward...