The Big 100 (or 10)

Today marks the 100th post. This feels worthy of note. To celebrate I'll tell you 100 random things. This counts as 1.

2. I didn't mean to sound un-sympathetic to Karen. I do feel bad that she's having a difficult time and I know she just needs someone to vent to so I called her this morning to let her know I was going to some of the grocery stores where you find more "hard to find" items - avocados, tortilla wraps, Doritos, etc. We found marshmallows and Rice Krispies so she was happy that she could make Rice Krispie Treats.

3. At the store, I did witness an altercation between a British woman and an Indian who tried to cut her. The Indian woman ever so casually pretended she was looking at the candy by the registers and eased ahead of the British woman and I who had "queued up" (as the Brits like to say). Cutting the line, both subtly and sometimes not so subtly, is a common Indian technique. You have to be ready to push and shove sometimes to keep your spot. Anyway, when the British woman realized the Indian woman had no intention of buying candy, she (the Brit) said, "oh, no you don't." She then put her hands on the Indian woman's shoulders and began marching her behind me saying, "Ut-uh, no you don't. You don't cut the queue. Don't you see we've started queuing? You are behind us." The Indian woman got behind me without saying a word and the British woman shook her head at me who tried to give her a knowing, "yes, I hate when that happens." Then the Brit says to me, "well you have to do it. Sometimes I just get so fed up by that bologna. Honestly." Karen was still shopping and didn't witness which is probably just as well seeing as she's trying to see the positives of life in India.

4. Looks like a heated and very close race. It's almost as exciting as the Superbowl. (I'm only half kidding. It does sort of feel like watching a scoreboard change as more votes are tallied although, more like a slow moving cricket match than the Superbowl.) Sir is getting nervous that the "Oprah-loving, phony" will win and we'll have to move to Canada. (He's only half kidding too.)

5. No one has Skyped us in weeks. This leads us to believe that: a. the novelty has worn off; b. you might have the chicken pox and don't want to be seen on camera; c. your computer was stolen; d. you were afraid we were hit by that cable-break in the Mediterranean Sea that knocked out internet and phone service to India (but we were not affected so fear not).

6. George saw a Muslim little person on the back of a motorcycle the other day (of interest to all those who hold a similar fascination with little people).

7. We bought a pressure cooker over the weekend. This was prompted by my failed attempt to make a three bean chili last week. I couldn't find canned beans, so I bought dried. I tried soaking them, even seeking advice from the all-knowing internet, but after soaking for nearly 48 hours (when apparently 8-12 should be sufficient) then boiling them (which you shouldn't have to do if you've soaked them), they never really softened up enough. Sir's co-workers laughed when he said I was trying to cook them in an open pot. "Why doesn't she just use a pressure cooker?" They're all the rage here - cheap and available everywhere so when in India...Apparently you can put your rice, all your cut up raw vegetables and spices (and meat if you so choose) in the pot, turn it on and a half hour later, you have a meal. It looked harmless enough after taking it out of the box but then I started reading through what I thought were the directions but turned out to be a little book of caution and warnings about all the terrible things that could happen if you misuse it. (Warning: May explode if not used properly! Caution: Do not misuse as may result in explosion or steam burn!) After carefully reading, I was sure that ours was missing a part and put it back in the box to return it.

8. When the girl-maid came, she looked very pleased to see that we bought one. I think she thinks I don't cook much as we only have one pot, one pan and two stirring utensils (but with only two burners, more pots and pans seems like a waste). I told her that it was broken and I had to return it. Either she didn't understand that or she wanted to see for herself because she promptly began taking it out of the box. In her loud and jolly voice, "No ma'am. Is ok. See?" She put the top together and began yelling out what I was to do. I understood mostly because she used a lot of hand gestures and pointing as well as her enthusiastic Hindi. She pointed to the vegetables I have in a bowl on the counter and motioned that I put those in. "Eh? Vegetabakatakas, rice, in, ya ya ya." Then she pointed to the faucet, "water" and pretended to fill the pot with water. Then to the burner and motioned to turn it on, "Cook aklaka ooty ahh ooka sutula 15 minutes." She must have thought I was following not only her gestures, but also her oral directions because she stumbled when she tried to find the word for the knob on the top of the cover. She just pointed furiously to the knob and kept yelling, "15 minutes and POP. POP done. POP. Ya?" Then she pretended to turn off the heat and was very adamant that I don't touch anything. "NO TOUCH. OW, OW, OW, Ma'am, bad. Ten minutes, is ok (head bob)." After she was done with her Oscar-worthy performance, I repeated everything I thought she taught me and she seemed pleased with what I was saying (or that I was repeating her hand gestures exactly) - put everything in, fill it with water, put it on heat wait for the knob to pop, take it off heat, and wait to open it. Seems easy enough. I'm going to ask her if she'll come and cook with me just to be sure though.

9. Five men came to inspect our fire alarms the other day: one to climb the ladder, one to hold the ladder, one to look at the ladder, one to stare at me and one to yap on his cell phone. But they are all in working conditions which eased my mind until I got to thinking...

10. There are no fire hydrants on any streets nor have I ever passed a firehouse. I'm not sure I've read anything about any big fires but I don't know how they respond. I've seen ambulances racing down the street, sirens screaming but no fire engines. Though I have seen fire extinguishers in buildings. We always pass random fires, presumably garbage, on street corners and along the sidewalks but they never seem out of control. They are small and just seem to burn out. Hopefully, this will continue to remain a mystery.

Ten is good. How about just 10 things? It's close to 100...