The World is a Glass House

I struggle with many things. How to make sense of rejection. How to cook artichokes (which, by the way, don't bother. Just buy them cooked, cut and marinated in a jar). How to save the environment...but one thing that has been particularly troublesome this week is how not to feed into the media frenzy that follows people in the public eye.

I admit it. I sometimes pick the longest grocery line so I can flip through the latest Enquirer, US Weekly or Star magazines to find out if Kirstie Alley really has gained back all the weight JC (Jenny Craig, not The JC) helped her lose and if Brad and Angie really are going to make it. I don't actually go out and buy these magazines but if they happen to be right there in front of me (or in the mailbox with my roommate's name on it), I don't not look. Sometimes, when you see Britney all disheveled with sad eyes or Amy Winehouse hacking butts as she leaves the hospital where she's been told she has early signs of emphysema, I can't help but feel a little guilty. But then again, I don't really feel bad about it usually because, after all, it's part of the business. They dove into the fishbowl. But Hollywood and the celebrities who define it also seem like they are of their own world.

In our world, we have lots of people who live in the public eye but now thanks to instant communication with phones that take photos, cameras that shoot video, videos that can be viewed by millions worldwide on the internet, it seems even those in the periphery of the public eye are subject to Hollywood type scandals and publicity.

I found myself watching a surveillance camera at a local restaurant and bar here in Milford yesterdat afternoon. It wasn't until after three minutes, that I woke up and thought, "what am I doing?"

What I was doing was watching some gritty video from the ceiling corner at a restaurant? I was trying to figure out why exactly the Milford Police Commissioner was asked to resign earlier this week. The story reported by the paper said that witnesses saw the Commish enjoying a little too many martinis, to the point where he got sick on his pant leg. He was also spotted canoodling with a young woman and had to be driven home by an officer who happened to be at the restaurant (instead of one of the 8,000 local Dunkin' Donuts). The Police Chief asked the officer who drove him (the Commish) home to submit a memo explaining what happened. In the memo, the officer says the Commish was "visibly intoxicated." The day the story broke, the Mayor (who is supposedly pretty tight with the defendant) asked for a resignation basically saying it makes Milford look bad. The Commish shot back saying he wouldn't resign because he did nothing wrong. He was out to eat and got sick on the clam sauce (gets you every time) and was kindly given a ride home. "I had the misfortune of getting sick in a public place, and that's it. I did not do anything illegal. I didn't do anything even unethical." Cut to the tape.

The tape shows a whole lot of nothing. It does show him with his arm around a women and stumbling. Still, he submitted his resignation yesterday and everyone in Milford can now take a collective sigh of relief. Should we tar and feather a man who was out and had one too many? Should we accept immature behavior and bad judgment from a civic leader? He also runs Milford's Boys and Girls village for disadvantaged and troubled youths and is a Baptist Reverend, though these details have just been tagged onto the end. I get that he is an elected official and representative of Milford, but really, the allegations seem more silly than truly scandalous. Should he be embarrassed? Absolutely. Should he think twice the next time he orders one more round of drinks? Sure. But I feel bad for him. I feel bad that I actually watched this tape that shows him stumbling down a hall. I feel bad that I have to form an opinion about what happened during the 12 minutes when he and his companion were off camera. (He says, he was waiting for her outside the bathroom. And says that she was a staffer working on a friend's campaign.) I feel bad that I didn't even know who he was or what exactly he has done for the Police Department to know whether or not he deserves to get canned over all this. And I feel bad for his family. But I guess that's what you get when you make a poor decision and you an upstanding member of "a small city with a big heart." (Really, this is the motto of our fair city.)

We all make dumb mistakes. Just ask Don Imus. I do believe he was being sarcastic with his, "there you go. Now we know," comment but he has to know that there are a whole mess of people out there who think he's a racist. Anything he says or does not say about race is going to be scrutinized and dissected and analyzed like a cadaver at a crime scene. Watch what you say and do Mr. Imus, the world is listening (even if we're not really listening to his show).

Politicians have been screwing around, drinking, lying and who knows what else since the beginning of time. Has our moral compass really shifted that dramatically or do we just feel entitled to tear people apart just because we now can watch as their private lives unravel, literally, before our eyes? JFK did who knows what with Marilyn and yet we know how much Monica Lewinsky paid for her dry cleaning. The world is a glass house. There is no more fishbowl. Log onto You Tube and you can watch what your neighbors are doing. Send a text message (with photo!) when you see the mayor at the grocery store buying condoms. Next time you go stumbling around a restaurant, watch where the cameras are mounted and avoid them. You never know who is watching or where you'll see your mug. And watch out for the stones.