Part of the Club

So I'm officially part of the club. It's not a very exclusive club. Nor is there anything secretive about it's membership requirements. Almost anyone can join. There are really only two: you must be female and you must be expecting. Since I now meet both requirements, like thousands before me, I'm an automatic member. But still, not everyone can so it feels like an accomplishment; like there is something exclusive about it.

Maybe it's because for two fairly simple requirements, it's not that simple to meet both of them. The first requirement excludes half the population. The second, isn't always as easy as people would hope. For something that has become so scientific, getting pregnant really is just some inexplicable miracle. People can spend years trying using perfect timing and millions of dollars in "foolproof" medicine only to realize that all the perfect science still doesn't guarantee anything. And then of course, there are those who specifically try avoiding the club entirely only to find that the science of avoidance has eluded them just as easily.

So in the end, I guess because there are only two requirements, it's that last bit of dumb luck that makes this membership extra special.

Perhaps I might feel differently had I never visited a "trying to conceive" website. There are entire communities of women (and I suppose some men though not surprisingly, they don't make themselves known) who share the intimate details of their personal lives in a desperate attempt to have a child. And some of these women are truly desperate. So much so, they've abbreviated as many words as possible so they can get right back to the baby making process I suppose. It's somewhat frustrating when you first find yourself on one of these pages because you can hardly understand what they are saying.

"Hello ladies! DH and I have been TTC for 1 yr. I'm 8 dpo and keeping my fingers crossed. The 2WW is SOOO hard though!!! My BBT has been elevated but I feel like AF is right around the corner. I felt this way last month though and BFN! :( My CM is really milky now. Is that normal? Oh well, we'll BD again tonight JIC!!! Wish me luck. Baby dust to u all!" (Translation will follow.)

I consider myself very lucky that we did not have to try and try. But since it also didn't happen on the first try, I can understand the need for these websites. These poor women grasp at any ray of hope and obsess over the slightest twitch or pain or feeling wondering if the miracle will touch them. Another month seems like an eternity and makes even the spiritual-less throw prayers to the heavens. They offer support to the unlucky and genuinely seem happy for the lucky. I don't know that I could be so gracious but I suppose if I had spent some more time in that club, I'd feel differently. When you are trying to get pregnant, the entire world seems pregnant except for you (which doesn't go away when you are pregnant. I think it's just part of the initiation period). So while I do poke fun at their lingo, I do hope the baby dust works. As one of the newest members, I'd gladly welcome them to this club. The exclusive one.


TRANSLATION:
"Hello ladies! DEAR HUSBAND and I have been TRYING TO CONCEIVE for 1 yr. I'm 8 DAYS PAST OVULATION and keeping my fingers crossed. The 2 WEEK WAIT (FROM THE DAY YOU OVULATE UNTIL THE FIRST DAY OF YOUR MISSED PERIOD IS ABOUT 2 WEEKS) is SOOO hard though!!! My BASAL BODY TEMP has been elevated but I feel like AUNT FLO is right around the corner. I felt this way last month though and BIG FAT NEGATIVE (PREGNANCY TEST)! :( My CERVICAL MUCUS is really milky now. Is that normal? Oh well, we'll BABY DANCE (SEX) again tonight JUST IN CASE!!! Wish me luck. Baby dust to u all!"

His Cheating Heart

I feel bad about Tiger. I know I shouldn't. He's an adulterer. But still, he's Tiger. He showed us that world-class athletes could be classy. He showed us that if you just believe in yourself, you can win even with a broken knee (or whatever is broken making you think you should quit). He showed us that hard work pays off. For as unreal and tough as he seemed on the golf course, he seemed genuine and kind off the course. I liked him. I still want to like him. But now he's gone and ruined it for both of us.

Maybe it's that I feel bad for knowing he's an adulterer. Does it really matter if he was a family man or a sex addict? Because either way, he's still really, REALLY, good at golf. The best. So why do I care? I suppose because like it or not, I know that he had a pretty wife. He had two small kids. I've seen pictures of them laughing and looking like a regular, normal family, only blessed with good looks and lots of talent. Now, I could blame this on the media. They put those pictures in front of my face and forced me to look. But that's not exactly true.

I was interested in his personal life. I wanted to see the pictures of his kids. I liked when they showed his wife and kids at tournaments. It made me like him more. Despite all that raw talent, he was also a normal guy. Uncertain of his celebrity status but gracious in the acceptance of his life. If I feel betrayed now, imagine what Elin must be feeling.

And now, like with all train wrecks, I can't not look. It's like Jon and Kate. How can you not be just at least a little bit interested? Once the wheels come off the track, I get why people watch. What I still don't get though, is why I care about his personal life in the first place. Why do I care about any celebrities personal life? Clearly, with the ever-expanding tabloid business, I'm not the only one.

Why do we get so obsessed with other peoples lives? Is it that we are projecting? For some people, I think yes. I think many people wish they were constantly in the spotlight. They wish the world was watching their every move and people spent hours reading about and looking at pictures of their latest vacation in People magazine. I cite reality TV and Facebook as irrefutable evidence of such people.

But then there are those of us who don't quite fit that profile, but still enjoy a gossip magazine or two. So what about us? And why do I feel like I should apologize for this? I know Tiger thinks we should have the courtesy to give him his privacy but how can he think we wouldn't want to know more about the strange stories that seem to be emerging daily about the accident, the endless stream of "classy" women, the mother-in-law, the pills...He's been in my living room for years now. Wouldn't it be more strange if I didn't care?